Face to face with a terrorist: Bali bomber Ali Imron meets victims' friends and families in Jakarta jail

The man who drove the explosives-laden van in the Bali bombings has come face to face with the friends and family of some of the victims.

Ali Imron, the only surviving member of the bombers' inner circle, has met Nyoman Rencini, who lost her husband, Jan Laczynski, who lost five friends, and Ni Luh Erniati who also lost her husband.

Before meeting with Imron in a Jakarta prison, Ms Rencini told SBS's Dateline: "My friend asked, if Ali Imron asks us for forgiveness, will you forgive him or not? I said, I don't know. Let's wait and see."

During their meeting, Ms Laczynski asks Imron: "Why did you drive the bomb vehicle?" and "How do you sleep at night?".

Two bombs ripped through Legian street in the tourist hotspot of Kuta on October 12, 2002, killing 202 people.

One was detonated inside Paddy's Pub by a suicide bomber, and another by a suicide bomber in the van parked outside the Sari Club.

Three men convicted of carrying out the bombings were executed by firing squad in 2008 while others have served or continue to serve behind bars.

Imron was spared the death penalty and instead sentenced to life imprisonment after he expressed remorse and cooperated with police.

He now works on de-radicalisation and changing the jihadist mindset.

However, he revealed in the meeting he still receives invitations to carry out more bombings of Bali and could "find a bomb even though I'm inside".

"I'm not grateful that there was a bombing in Bali," he told Dateline.

"I'm grateful that I'm one of the perpetrators who realises they were wrong and are repentant.

"I've said that I apologise to everyone, especially the victims and their families.

"Since then, I have not killed anyone… I'm not a monster."

When Imron entered the room, he offered Mr Laczynski a handshake but Mr Laczynski refused, later saying: "No, no thanks, I'm not going to shake someone's hand who killed five of my friends and 88 Australians".

Ms Rencini, who had to wait two months to receive confirmation of her husband's death, leaving her to bring up three children alone, said, "People said he'd be half-man, half-animal".

"Some friends told me to take a knife or other sharp object and use it on the perpetrators, but my conscience wouldn't let me do anything so cruel."

In the program, Imron says he was "obeying his leaders".

"I was only carrying out the orders of my seniors in Jemaah Islamiyah and my brother Mukhlas," Imron said.

He said if he did not complete the orders he would have been expelled as a traitor.

After the meeting, Ms Erniati said: "I know he was thinking, he was listening but his face didn't show any sign of sympathy".

'I don't think I could control my emotions enough'

Kevin Paltridge lost his son Corey in the bombing.

Seven of Corey's Kingsley Football Club team-mates were also killed when the bomb ripped through the Sari Club.

Mr Paltridge said he personally did not think meeting with a terrorist responsible for the attack would be helpful.

"But I'm probably one of the aggressive ones," he said.

"I sent a letter to be part of the firing squad. That's how angry I was, and probably still am."

Mr Paltridge said he did not know whether he could control his emotions enough in such a meeting.

"Meeting them doesn't really interest me at all because I'd probably thump them on the chin."

He said he understood why Mr Laczynski did not want to shake Imron's hand.

"I'd probably take his hand with one hand and whack him with the other," Mr Paltridge said.

But Mr Paltirdge said if he ever came face to face with one of the terrorists involved, his first question would be "Why?"

Risks and benefits of meeting a perpetrator

The decision for a victim, or a relative or friend of a victim, to meet with a perpetrator is not one made lightly and can have varying psychological impacts.

Often such encounters are sought to make sense of a traumatic event but the after effects differ significantly between individuals.

"It can be quite dangerous," Anxiety Australia said in a statement.

"Because if they haven't seen the perpetrator before they can create direct associations.

"They can then see them in their mind, when they are just walking down the street or when they think about what happened."

University of Queensland psychology Professor Justin Kenardy said it very much depended on whether the person had the capacity and resources to deal with the emotions ignited by the exposure.

"If someone is really distressed and just not really in the right frame of mind then I would think that something like that might be counter-productive," he said.

"It would reinforce all of the fearful and confusing thoughts which they had to try to resolve."

But for some it can be a positive and beneficial process.

"If somebody feels fully supported and are relatively resilient or in a place that fosters that recovery and adaption, it's going to be something that's useful," Professor Kenardy said.

Coming face to face makes it more concrete and the intangibility of what has happened may be more distressing than seeing the reality, he said.

Source: Face to face with a terrorist: Bali bomber Ali Imron meets victims' friends and families in Jakarta jail